So you want to know how to get a girl to sext you, without sounding like a creep or killing the vibe. Let\u2019s just say, this is one part sexy, one part psychology. If you play it cool, create emotional safety, and know exactly what not<\/em> to do, there\u2019s a good chance she\u2019ll not only be into it, she\u2019ll enjoy it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Quick heads-up?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Want to wet your feet into the world of real sexting? Start with these guides:<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udc49 How to Start Sexting: 59 Hot Examples & 51 Sexy Ways to Sext Someone<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udc49 How to Sext a Girl Right: 74 Naughty Secrets that\u2019ll work on EVERY Girl!<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udc49 110 Sexy, Dirty and Freaky Questions to Ask a Girl & Make Her Wet and Horny<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Worried about what to say first? You\u2019re not alone, the first line is the hardest. The trick is to keep it light, suggestive, and playful, not aggressive. Here are a few examples to help you ease into it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Each of these lets her play along if she\u2019s into it<\/em>, or ignore it without feeling uncomfortable. Think of them as green-light testers, smooth, not sleazy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n [Read: 88 Dirty, Sexy Texts for Her & Secrets to Make a Girl Wet & Horny In Minutes!<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n You don\u2019t want to make it awkward, right? The best way to avoid that is by spotting a few signs she might already be thinking about it, or at least open to it. Before you go in with the spicy texts, here\u2019s what to look for:<\/p>\n\n\n\n If she\u2019s blowing up your phone at 11:45 p.m. talking about how she can\u2019t sleep\u2026 it\u2019s not always about insomnia. Nighttime texts often lower inhibitions, and it\u2019s a common window when sexting starts to happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If she says something like, \u201cI bet you look good in just a towel,\u201d she\u2019s dipping a toe into the water. Teasing compliments are her way of signaling she\u2019s comfortable with a little heat. [Read: Is She Flirting With Me or Being Friendly? 34 Signs to Read a Girl\u2019s Mind<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a big one. If she casually brings up sex or asks about what turns you on, she\u2019s testing how safe it feels to open up. That\u2019s your green light to slowly explore that energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If she sends cute pics (even PG-rated ones) with extra attention to her appearance, she\u2019s investing in your attention. A girl who\u2019s comfortable sharing her image is likely also more open to sexting, if the vibe stays respectful<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Playful lines like \u201cGuess what I\u2019m wearing \ud83d\ude0f\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve been so bad today\u2026\u201d are classic precursors to a sext convo. She\u2019s inviting you to play along, just don\u2019t go zero to sixty in one reply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n [Read: 70 Sexy Texts to Send a Guy or Girl & Spark a Hot, Dirty Conversation Instantly!<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Research shows women are more open to sexting and sexual communication when they perceive emotional safety, mutual interest, and positive sexual expectations in a relationship.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udcda Source: Sexual Self-Disclosure and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships, 1999, Byers & Demmons<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s the truth: the way you bring up sexting can make or break the vibe. If you\u2019re wondering how to get a girl to sext you without it backfiring, the golden rule is to invite<\/em>, not push<\/em>. A playful suggestion works better than a pressure-filled ask, and psychology backs this up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to the Dual Control Model of Sexual Response<\/strong>, arousal isn’t just about stimulation, it’s about feeling safe and unpressured. That\u2019s especially true for women, where emotional safety acts as a kind of “accelerator” for desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udcda Source: The Dual Control Model of Sexual Response, 2007, Janssen & Bancroft<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n [Read: How Girls Flirt: 22 Signs She\u2019s Flirting More Than Just Being Nice<\/a><\/span>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n I gave you some introductory points on how to introduce the prospect of sexting to a girl. Now, if she says no, your reading ends here. If she says yes, read on to make sure it is a good experience for the both of you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Before we get started, remember that every single girl is different. What may help one feel comfortable won\u2019t work on another and that is her prerogative. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a golden rule to follow. I am sorry, but no matter how proud you are of your six pack or your junk, no one wants to see it in a photo. I am here to tell you that it does not turn on most women.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n And if you think it will turn her on, you\u2019re wrong. If she does want a photo from you, she will ask. Trust me she will. You no longer have to wonder. [Read: Dick pics and why men love sending these to women<\/a>]<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n The same goes for asking for photos. As a girl, as soon as I get this question I am immediately turned off. I find it to be very superficial, and, well, icky. Understand the pressure put on girls to turn you on while at the same time they want to feel respected and make sure those photos never get out.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n You can beg and promise you\u2019ll delete them right after, but don\u2019t. Just don\u2019t ask. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n By this I mean, be alone in your room or home. Make sure no one is around. Not just for your own privacy but also for hers. If a buddy of yours catches wind of what\u2019s happening, you are invading her privacy. Don\u2019t be texting other people or watching TV.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Give her your undivided attention just as you would if she was physically there. She may have agreed to sext with you, but if those texts expand outside the two of you it is a breach of her trust. [Read: 40 Sexy, Horny & Dirty Emojis to Send When You\u2019re Feeling Extra Naughty<\/a><\/span>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ease into sexting. Think of it as the foreplay before sex. Instead of getting right to what you would do if you were in bed with her, take it from the beginning. Romance her with your words.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Say what you did on the date. Talk about rose petals or candles or music. Set the scene so she feels more comfortable. Let her know you want her to enjoy sexting just as much as you. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Own your words. You want to be sure she is comfortable every step of the way, but also be confident in what you are saying. Don\u2019t second guess yourself. Make sure early on she knows you are totally fine with her telling you if she doesn\u2019t like something you said.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n That is how you learn. [Read: How to talk about sex without sounding like a pervert<\/a>]<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sexting works best when it feels real, not rehearsed or fake. So skip the exaggerated claims and porn-star lines. Just be yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If something feels forced or she\u2019s not into it, switch gears. And if you ever cross a line (even by accident), own it and apologize. Respect and honesty go hand-in-hand, and nothing is sexier than someone who listens and adapts. [Read: How to Dirty Talk: 36 Sexy Tips & 55 Examples to Turn Anyone On with Words<\/a><\/span>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the easiest ways to make sexting feel exciting and<\/em> safe? Match her energy. If she\u2019s being playful and slow, don\u2019t sprint ahead with a full-blown fantasy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Let her lead when she wants to. Pay attention to the kind of words she\u2019s using, how fast she replies, and what she responds to, it\u2019s all a signal for what she\u2019s into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Research shows women feel more sexually satisfied when there’s mutual pacing and shared control during sexual communication.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udcda Source: The Interpersonal Exchange Model of Sexual Satisfaction, 1995, Lawrance & Byers<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n If you don\u2019t know where to start and don\u2019t just want to blurt out something you\u2019re unsure about, ask her what she likes. It can be PG-13 like kissing her neck or racier. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n But by asking her what she\u2019s into, you have a guideline of where to start.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Share your fantasies. If you are both comfortable cranking things up a notch, share something that you want to try. Talk about things you\u2019d never do but like thinking about. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n If you trust each other fully with these more delicate topics, the sexting will be a better experience as will any physical interactions between you. [Read: The Best Dirty, Sexy Texting Games to Get Naughty With One Text!<\/a><\/span>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Sexting Openers That Actually Work on Girls<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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The subtle Signs She\u2019s Into Sexting Before You Even Ask<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. She texts you late at night<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. She compliments you in a flirty or suggestive way<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. She asks about your fantasies or turns the convo toward sex<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. She sends flirty photos or mirror selfies<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. She jokes about \u201cbeing bad\u201d or teases about what she\u2019s wearing<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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How to get a girl to sext from the beginning<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to get a girl to sext and feel comfortable with it<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Do not send unsolicited photos<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Do not ask for photos<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Only do it in private<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Take baby steps<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. Be confident<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
6. Be honest and<\/em> respectful<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
7. Use her pace to guide the tone<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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8. Ask her what she likes<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
9. Open up<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
10. Don\u2019t freak out if something doesn\u2019t flow perfectly<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n