The actual act of knowing how to ask a guy to be friends with benefits is not the part you should be worried about. Nowadays texting is usually the way to go, and most guys will be on board.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what you do have to do is make sure that right off the bat you make the right choices and are open about the situation. Friends with benefits can go south quickly if both parties aren\u2019t on the same page!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So let’s talk about how to ask a guy to be friends with benefits the right way, and also the most important details to make sure you pick a guy who’s right for a hookup. But before we get there, let’s spend a minute to know the real pros and cons of being friends with benefits with a guy, and if you’re honestly ready for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Having non-committal sex with someone can sound like a great idea, regardless of your gender. But before you go trying to ask a guy to be friends with benefits, it\u2019s important that you know the pros and the cons. That way, you can be fully informed and prepared for any outcome \u2013 good or bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s start with the pros.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, this is the obvious one now, isn\u2019t it? That\u2019s basically the whole point of having a friend with benefits. You get to have sex! And that\u2019s always a good thing, right? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You don\u2019t have to wait to find \u201cThe One\u201d and be in a relationship to get intimate again. [Read: How does being friends being best friends with benefits really work out?<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s face it \u2013 sometimes being in a romantic relationship comes with a lot of expectations. Presents, schedules, holidays\u2026 all of that. But you don\u2019t have to worry about that with your friends with benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you have a normal committed relationship, you always have the obligation of seeing your partner on a regular basis. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But with a friend with benefits situation, you are much more independent and your time can be spent on other things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you\u2019re single for a long time, it might feel like you will never have sex again because you\u2019re not in a relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But you don\u2019t have to wait to find a committed partner in order to have sex if you have a friend with benefits. [Read: Having sex with friends – The good and bad of being sex buddies<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Depending on how close you are, he will give you some male company. Instead of sitting alone and watching Netflix, he might stick around and could even cuddle with you on the couch after your sexual encounters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a tricky one, but it could happen. A lot of girls think they can \u201csex a guy into a relationship.\u201d In other words, if she gives him sex, he will automatically want a relationship with her. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It could happen, but don\u2019t get your hopes up too much. [Read: 26 ways to make your hookup miss you and hook them into falling for you<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might already have feelings for him and you think that if he has sex with you that he will fall for you too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But as we just said, that may not happen. And even if you don\u2019t think you\u2019ll fall for him, you might end up doing just that. [Read: Requited love – 17 ways to turn unrequited love into reciprocation<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the flip side, maybe you don\u2019t even like his personality that much but you think he\u2019s hot. You won\u2019t end up falling for him, but he might end up falling for you. That isn\u2019t a good scenario either because then you will break his heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With a committed relationship, there are a lot of routine and predictable patterns to your relationship which a lot of people like. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But when you have a friend with benefits, everything is more up in the air and there is a lot more uncertainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the benefits of a real relationship is that your boyfriend loves you and will be there for you when you are emotional. But a friend with benefits isn\u2019t going to do that for you most likely. [Read: How to make an emotionally unavailable man fall in love<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you are just friends with benefits with a guy, he might be dating other girls. This could make you jealous. He might even find someone he wants to be in a committed relationship with, and that would definitely bring out the green-eyed monster<\/a> in you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you fall for him and he doesn\u2019t feel the same way, you might end up heartbroken. And as we just said, what if he finds someone he wants to have a real relationship with? <\/p>\n\n\n\n This could definitely hurt your self-esteem because you\u2019ll wonder, \u201cwhy didn\u2019t he want me<\/em>?\u201d [Read: What does friends with benefits mean to a guy? Do guys get hooked?<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Although plenty of guys would be over the moon for this type of offer, it is not for everyone. Before getting into the nitty-gritty remember that he can say no or he may want to think about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just because friends with benefits equals no strings attached, that doesn\u2019t mean it is an easy situation to enter into. There is a lot to consider. [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules you should never ever ignore<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before getting too far into this situation, think about why you prefer a friend with benefits situation over a relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, you want sex, but is there a reason you won’t want a relationship? And are you sure of it? Don’t be one of those girls who jump into a hookup hoping it’ll turn into something more. Or don’t sleep with a guy hoping that he’ll cure your boredom and loneliness, and make you happy again. If you\u2019re not happy on your own, this situation won\u2019t fix anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In fact, hooking up with a guy just to feel “whole” again may make you feel worse and more alone than ever. [Read: 28 truths about feeling alone in a relationship and how to fix it ASAP<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before you ask a guy to be your friend with benefits, it is important to remain self-aware. If you are too busy with work to commit to a relationship or just want something casual because you\u2019re fresh out of a relationship, great. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But this is not a cure-all for relationship woes and certainly is not a relationship replacement. You need to be in the right frame of mind and emotional stability to separate sexual pleasure from love, and enjoy this hookup for what it is – a good orgasm when you’re bored and have nothing better to do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n [Read: 13 rebound sex questions to know if you’re actually ready for it<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Although it seems casual and fun to have a friend with benefits, you have to know the right kind of guy to choose<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you choose the wrong one, things can turn out badly. So, here are some things you need to keep in mind during the process of finding the right one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The whole idea of friends with benefits is that you pick someone who is a friend. It does not have to be a close friend or a best friend, but someone that you know you don\u2019t have actual feelings for and vice versa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This way you are aware that you are comfortable with this person and trust them enough that when you sign on for this arrangement you know they\u2019ll keep their word. [Read: The signs to know if meaningless sex is for you or not<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being friends with benefits with someone you don\u2019t get along with is not the best idea. Yes, angry sex<\/a> can be passionate, but friends with benefits was created to remove the drama and chaos of a relationship, not add to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Choose someone you know you don\u2019t lock heads with. Just headboards!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friends with benefits should not be entered into by exes or someone you used to have feelings for. You should also make sure this person never had feelings for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, being attracted to one another is important, but if actual feelings were on the table before, they are bound to return. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you know the pros and cons, why you want this, and how to pick a guy for friends with benefits, let\u2019s talk about how you can do it right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Asking a guy to be friends with benefits is not as nerve-racking as asking a guy out. Rejection will burn less and hopefully, your feelings won\u2019t be hurt, maybe just your ego. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So go in with confidence, and openness, and make sure you have a game plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n From the moment you ask this guy if he’s interested in casual sex<\/a>, you should be straightforward. If you’re wondering how to ask a guy to be friends with benefits, don\u2019t beat around the bush or butter him up with compliments because that might feel like a date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For reference, watch Friends With Benefits<\/em> or No Strings Attached<\/em> for some examples of how to go about this part. [Read: How to start a friends with benefits relationship with someone<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is a common movie quote. Sex makes things complicated, <\/em>but it doesn\u2019t have to. You can keep things drama-free as long as you tell each other what\u2019s up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you are seeing someone else, tell your friends with benefits because drama would be running into your FWB with their date and being caught off guard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a part of staying on the same page, you should be able to offer him a reason as to why you want to enter into this and why you picked him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tell him that you like him and are attracted to him but just aren\u2019t in the right headspace for a relationship. This seems like the perfect arrangement. This way you both know where the other is coming from. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This may be the most important part that you need to keep in mind when you’re trying to figure out how to ask a guy to be friends with benefits. Without rules, things tend to get messy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you both seeing other people? Are you informing one another if you have sex with someone else? Are you going to share meals or sleep over at each other\u2019s places? What method of birth control<\/a> are you relying on? These are all things you need to decide on before starting things out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This may be what makes relationships scary or even less romantic, but thankfully this is not a relationship. [Read: 14 things you have to teach your new FWB partner<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your friendship should stay how it was before this. If you hung out once a month in a group, then keep doing that. If you only saw each other a few times a year, stick to those social gatherings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If too many changes outside of the benefits part of the situation it can be difficult to navigate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friends with benefits is not a marriage, which means it will end eventually. So before starting things make sure you are both verbally aware that this will not be forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Agree on the terms. Will you pick things up next time you\u2019re both single? Is this a six-month thing? How will you end it when the time comes? [Read: How to remain friends after you end a FWB relationship<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ending things will be weird no matter how much you prepare so try to sort things out beforehand. Ask him if after things end you will maintain the friendship as normal or if you will take some time apart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you end because one of you got into a new relationship, will you tell that person? Will that make things weird for your friendship? These are all things you should discuss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is another big thing in any friends with benefits agreement. If you share a friend group, will they be able to tell something is going on? Are you keeping things on the down-low?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you have roommates? Are you going to sneak around or just tell a couple of people that need to know?<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is always a possibility, no matter how much you or he refuses to believe it. So talk about the possibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you both open to potential dating down the line? Or should one of you end it if feelings pop up? [Read: How to properly break up with a friend with benefits<\/a>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n This may sound boring, but setting a routine can make this even more smooth. Are you going to stick to his place or yours?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you avoiding the weekends and just getting together during the week? This will help with making plans and dealing with details later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You are friends with benefits so most likely sex is on the table. And because you probably aren\u2019t as scared to hurt his feelings as someone you would potentially be dating, you can share what you like and what you don\u2019t right from the start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let him know what is on and off the table from the start so there are no surprises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n2. You don\u2019t have to put any romantic effort into the \u201crelationship\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. You can focus your energy on other things<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. You don\u2019t have to wonder when you\u2019ll have sex again<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. He will keep you company<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
6. It could lead to a relationship<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Cons<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
7. You might fall for him<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
8. He might fall for you<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
9. There is a lot of uncertainty<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
10. He won\u2019t be there for you emotionally<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
11. You might get jealous<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
12. It could lead to heartbreak<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t expect a certain answer<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Think about why you want a friend with benefits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to pick a guy to be friends with benefits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Pick someone you trust<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Choose someone you get along with <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Avoid anyone you have a past with<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to ask a guy to be friends with benefits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Be straightforward<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Keep things drama free<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Give a reason<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Set ground rules<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. Maintain the friendship<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
6. Agree things will end eventually<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
7. Talk about what happens afterward<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
8. Will you tell people? <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
9. What if someone catches feelings? <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
10. Set a routine? <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
11. What do you like? <\/h3>\n\n\n\n